Do you struggle navigating
the Queer dating world???
Introducing:
LAVENDER DATING
We get it!
Whether you are online or in-person navigating the Queer dating world can be tricky!
We could all use support as we figure out how to date, what we want in a partner, and who is the best person for us!
Our services are for trans, cis and NB folks who may:
Lack of Confidence: If you struggle with self-esteem or feel unsure about your dating abilities, a coach or support group can help you build confidence and believe in your worth.
Difficulty Connecting: If you find it challenging to initiate or maintain conversations with potential partners, a coach or support group can provide strategies for effective communication and connection.
Unsuccessful Dating History: If you've had a string of unsuccessful relationships or experiences, a coach or support group can help you identify patterns and make necessary changes.
Clarity and Direction: If you're unsure about what you're looking for in a partner or relationship, a coach or support group can help you define your values and goals.
Overcoming Fear and Anxiety: If dating makes you anxious or fearful, a coach or support group can provide tools and techniques to manage these emotions and build resilience.
Specific Relationship Goals: If you have specific goals, such as finding a long-term partner or improving your communication skills, a coach or support group can help you create a personalized plan to achieve them.
Accountability and Support: A coach or support group can provide accountability and support as you navigate the dating world. They can offer encouragement, guidance, and feedback. some stuff
Meet Barbara Rowlandson
Dating Coach and Support Group Facilitator
Barbara Rowlandson is a dating coach and coming out expert based in Ontario, Canada. She came out as a lesbian at age 45 and after 21 years of marriage.
In the years since coming out, Barb leaned on her skills as a marketing and events professional as she navigated the world of LGBTQIA+ online dating.
A Humanist officiant since 2018, Barb works with couples preparing for marriage, helping them define values, focus on complementary qualities, and foster gratitude in their relationships.
Today, Barb works as a coming out coach with Lotus Group Coaching (working with groups and individuals) and is a Master of Counseling Psychology candidate at Yorkville University. She has worked with Anne-Marie Zanzal Coaching for the past three years. Along with coming out, Barbara is an expert on divorce support and catalyst recovery, and the producer of Coming Out & Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories.
Barb has a passion for helping others, is an average guitar player, an extraordinary gardener, and a loving mom to her adult daughters and Golden Retrievers.
Meet your dating coach Barbara Rowlandson
through her former clients:
It was just a few months earlier when my whole world was thrown into chaos due to the break-up of my catalyst relationship. I had no idea how to navigate where I was or where I was going. My whole lesbian identity had been wrapped around my catalyst. Then a few months later, I found Lotus Group Coaching and Barb Rowlandson. Through many tears and hard work, Barb helped me see that I am "lesbian me" regardless of my previous catalyst relationship; I was not defined by my catalyst. Embracing that truth has been the turning point for me as I have slowly moved forward.
Barb's kindness, wisdom, and ability to sort through the muck and get to the heart of things, is what makes Barb so skilled as a coach. Barb has lived through many of the challenges she is now helping others work through. Her lived experience, tenderness, and empathy are what make her such a great coach. Nothing is contrived or theory. She gets in there with you and helps you find your best, be your best, live your best, to be authentically you. Barb is a treasure and I cannot thank her enough for how much she has helped me in my journey.
- Amber
Barb is very helpful at sorting through potential dating websites and writing a dating profile. She really gets you to think about what is important to you. I love how encouraging Barb is regardless of what stage you are at.
- Betsy
Barb was extremely helpful as I learned to navigate the dating world as a late in life lesbian. I had so many insecurities and questions, which Barb helped me work through with both compassion and humor. Barb is insightful, offering both practical tips as well as emotional support. I am so grateful for her guidance! She helped me explore dating apps, texting, first dates, second dates...and she also has provided solid advice as I moved into a committed, loving relationship with an amazing woman.
- Kim
Barb is one of the most thoughtful and encouraging person I have ever worked with. Her kindness and compassion radiates through everything she does. She knows how to motivate and get you moving to make the changes you need to make!
- Anne M.
I was lucky enough to work with Barb for more than a year. Her empathetic nature, kind approach, practical advice, and way with words has helped me through some of the darkest times of my late in life coming out journey. I couldn’t recommend her more highly. It’s been a privilege to be able to spend time with her.
- Anonymous
I have worked with Barb one on one several times throughout the past two years. I have also seen how she supports and coaches people in a group setting throughout that same period of time. Barb brings a calm presence and positive energy to her sessions. She cocreates a safe space where people feel at ease, seen, heard and supported. Barb and I have talked about coming out later in life; going through the divorce process; coparenting and dating, among other topics. It has been invaluable to work with someone who truly understands this journey. Two years later, I am living my authentic life; I have gotten comfortable with taking space in the world being me; I have learned how to set healthy boundaries in my coparenting relationship and I have gotten clarity about the qualities and values that are important to me when I think about dating and potentially being in a relationship in the future.
- Johanna
I appreciate Barb’s heart centered approach. Building your self-love and trust before entering the dating field is an important thing to accomplish and Barb supports that. Barb guided me toward which dating app would be one of the best and I appreciated the guidance.
-Linda L
Why trust
Lavender Coaching?
Expertise: Our coaches are experienced professionals who specialize in LGBTQIA+ relationships and dating. They have a deep understanding of the unique challenges and opportunities faced by women in this community.
Personalized Approach: We offer tailored coaching programs that address your individual needs and goals. Our coaches work closely with you to create a personalized plan that helps you achieve your desired outcomes.
Safety and Inclusivity: Lavender Dating prioritizes the safety and well-being of its members, ensuring a harassment-free and inclusive environment.
Supportive Community: Lavender Dating provides a safe and supportive community where you can connect with other women who are going through similar experiences. Our community fosters understanding, empathy, and encouragement.
Confidentiality: We prioritize your privacy and confidentiality. All information shared with our coaches is treated with the utmost respect
By choosing Lavender Dating, you're investing in yourself and your future. We are committed to helping you navigate the dating world with confidence and find love on your terms.
NEW
Virtual Speed Dating
July 25, 2025
5 p.m. PST 7 p.m. CST 8 p.m. EST
via Zoom
Authentically Us Members: Free
Non-Members: $35
New to dating women?
Maybe you're a long out lesbian who hasn't dated in a really long time?
Sick of the dating apps and want to try a different approach?
Lavender Dating is hosting our very first Virtual Speed Dating event on Friday, July 25th, 2025 for mature women (ages 35+). Event is via Zoom.
This is where you can:
Meet new people
Practice your dating conversation skills
Step into the world of dating without having to take a bunch of selfies or write a dating profile
Have some fun at home on a Friday night!
Just grab a beverage, show up as yourself, chat with women and who knows? Maybe there'll be a spark of something more at the end of the night!
What have you got to lose? Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so be brave and give virtual speed dating a try!
Welcome to Virtual Speed Dating for LGBTQ women!
This event is for any woman who is either new to dating women altogether, or who hasn't dated other women in a long time. Old and newly out LGBTQ women Welcome! Cis, trans and non-binary individuals welcome!
This event takes place inside of Authentically Us, a Mighty Networks community for mature queer women (ages mid 30s +). Cost is $35 for non-members; Authentically Us subscribers attend for free.
If you are attending, please fill out the form below and once submitted watch your inbox for further details.
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MONTHLY
Individual Coaching
Three Month Program
Three Payments of $400
$1100 Pay In Full Option
Six individual coaching sessions personalized and attuned to your own needs.
Rolling Admission
Guidance on clarity and what are you goals in dating.
How to craft a compelling dating profile with feedback and copywriting from Barbara.
Troubleshooting and safety education.
Dealing with boundary crossing and rejection
What concerns you the most? We will work on that!
Still Undecided? Talk to Barb or Anne-Marie
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I join both programs?
Yes, you certainly can. There are benefits to both group and individual coaching. If this is something you're interested in, please contact us directly for pricing.
Will you offer another time and day option?
As the need arises we will add daytime and late afternoon groups to accommodate individuals in diverse time zones. Individual coaching sessions may be scheduled Monday-Friday, 9 am-6 pm EDT.
Does this just apply to online dating?
While online dating is an important topic we cover in group and individual sessions, it isn't the only aspect of dating we cover! We talk about finding community and dating in person, navigating first dates, and much more.
Which dating app is the best?
While we do have our favorites, we acknowledge that preference for dating apps is subjective. We are not sponsored by any dating app, so our opinions are not influenced one way or another. Check out our dating app guide below!
Which Dating App is for you?
Download our Free Dating App Guide!
Connect With Barbara On Social
Connect With Anne-Marie On Social